Blog Therapy

When I'm hurt I won't show it. I tend to keep it inside and I'll vent to somebody completely unrelated to the original pain later. It's bad for me. I'm trying to give it up. Frankly I have not had the best day and it was made worse by the fact that yesterday I had an amazing time. Have you ever had a friend betray you?? I have, more times than I can count actually, and although I have plenty of other friends and a completely fabulous best friend each betrayal always cuts deep. But, as I have said, I keep the pain inside. What exactly is it that I am afraid of? That I will be hurt even more? Heartache can be dealt with. It takes time and distractions until you can't remember why you were hurt in the first place. Am I afraid that it will be seen as a weakness and somebody will exploit that. Probably. At least, that's what seems to make sense to me.

 

Personally I think that being betrayed by a friend is awful. Worse than awful, it makes you think about everything else going on in your life and it makes you doubt. I hate doubt. It's worse than fear.

 

I need to change. If only so that I'm not as afraid to say when I have been hurt. Maybe it will help me heal quicker because, the sad truth is, I've been betrayed by friends so many times I can't help feel that this won't be the last time as much as I would like it to be.

 

Okay, I've been whinging. Annoying I know but sometimes you've just got to vent and I needed that. So, if anybody has read this entire post thank you and now I think that you should go and read something less depressing haha. I hope you have had a better day than I have.

 

Learning From Mistakes

I've done it again. Everytime. It's sort of exhausting now. Once more I took a chance... and it turned out to be a HUGE, GLARING MISTAKE. Sigh... and yes the capital letters were neccessary because this mistake hit me pretty hard. Typical. If you are like me and the chances you take turn out to be mistakes here are my tips for telling the world that you can deal with anything it has to throw at you:

 

1: Some sort of ice cream, cake or something else which is wholly bad but ultimately delicious helps but make sure you save it for the really bad mistakes otherwise you'll never get anywhere.

 

2: Make sure that you have a friend there willing to slap you in the face and tell you to get up out of your pit of despair and have a good time instead (my friend is more than willing to help me out in this respect)

 

3: Alcohol usually makes things worse unless it is taken alongside a bunch of friends who will then amuse you for the rest of the night (and proceeding nights as the case may be)

 

4: Don't agonize over your mistake for too long or you will never move on, instead hold your head high and stumble into your next mistake instead with the hope that things will get better

 

I guess that really my point is that your situation is only as bad as you think it is and if you convince yourself that it is actually nothing then that is how it really is. As I am sure I have said before (and you are probably getting sick of reading haha), don't be afraid to take chances but it doesn't hurt to have a contingency plan in place just in case.

 

My friend told me about this song a ocuple of days ago and while it may not be completely relevent to everything else I have ranted about so far it is still a great song so I suggest that you check it out :D

Holiday Greetings

It's official! The world hasn't ended and the holiday season is upon us! Personally, I love Christmas and I've probably had more than my fair share of mince pies and chocolate already but I know that it's okay because it means I can spend New Years with clear goals like giving up sweet things which will never actually happen. :D

 

At the moment everything is Christmas, Christmas, Christmas (with exceptions to the Hobbit and Dr Who of course) and I couldn't be happier. It's been a long year but I know that I'll be able to look back over it and remember the good times whilst joyfully ignoring the bad. There's been a lot of chatter about 2012 being a good year and, frankly, I agree wholly. How about you?

 

I guess that all this post is really for is to say, have a good holiday no matter what it is you are celebrating and enjoy the lead up to 2013. Life's short but that doesn't stop us from planning for the future. Think about what you may not have done this year and why? Who's to stop you from doing whatever it is next year? Go for it and have a great time over these next few weeks.

 

 

HALLOWEEN

So Halloween is in two days. Personally I love Halloween. Everything from the tacky decorations to the funky costumes. Is there anything better really than scaring yourself silly just to feel like you are alive? Fear does crazy things to everyone and everyone is scared of something. For me it is most things really and just lately I faced one of my fears of stage fright and I was fine. It's a strange feeling finding out that something you were previously terrified ofisn't so scary after all.

 

So, here's my advice.... if you are scared of something..... Face it. You might be surprised at the result.

 

So this Halloween, don't let your fears hold you back. Instead, put on the craziest costume you can find or make and have a great time whether you are having a party, going to one or just attempting to scare the lives out of the kids in your neighbourhood. You're never too old to have a good time on a holiday that should bring out the child in us all.

 

However, if Halloween maybe isn't your thing just remember where it came from. Halloween wasn't always pumkpins and candy. It's also the reputable night where the lines between the living and the dead are at their thinnest, Samhain. So, if that's more you thing, there's no need to go out and find a goat to sacrifice. Just light a white candle (stay away from black unless you are looking for trouble) and think about someone you've lost that you miss. I know that I will.

 

Have a good Halloween this year and have fun.

Second chances

The past few weeks have really pulled into perspective the fact that, for me, taking a chance and then having it turn out to be the wrong decision isn't always a bad thing. It can sometimes just show you the missing piece of the puzzle allowing you to finish the bigger picture. Also, getting a second chance can be amazing and give you the opportunity to put things right in your life but sometimes you just can't get that desired second chance and I've realised that I don't want it. I don't want to spend my life waiting for the slim possibility that everything will work itself out. I want to get things right the first time and, yeah, it may not always be possible but it's better to try and fail than to not try at all.

Plus, why should I waste time on anything that doesn't make me happy? So, do what makes you happy. Life is really, really short. Anything that doesn't make you happy won't matter in the end. Good memories are the important ones and the only thing that really matters is that you care for just a few people. Don't be afraid to love or follow your dreams.

I think it's about time I followed my own advice so that's all I have to say for now along with sharing this amazing song I recently heard for the first time and really hits home about what I wish to have in life and what I have been trying to say all along:

Surprises

First things first, my writers block has temporarily been eased with inspiration which has left me feeling excited about my new story idea and happy about moving on.

Youtube is one of the easiest places on the Internet to waste endless hours watching videos that normally you wouldn't even think of watching and most of the time there are whole lists of other things you could be doing, personally I am exactly the same a lot of the time but every now and again I will stumble across something that just makes all of that wasted time worthwhile.

This video however was not found after hours of searching but instead was a link in an email:

Admittedly the video is quite random but it's also genius. There should be moments in life where something unexpected and surprising comes along and puts a smile on your face and I know that this video put a smile on mine. So, ask yourself, in that same situation, are you the sort of person who will take a chance and push the button?

Writer's block

This post is about something that is starting to become really annoying. My complete and utter lack of inspiration. Normally when I write I have no time but millions of ideas. I finally get to a point where I have an excess of time for me to write and start a new project and then I have nothing. Zip. Nada.

I have half finished projects and finsihed projects but as soon as it comes down to me and that blank white page that is the very epitome of possibility I have nothing. Inspiration can come in many different forms and when I am starting a new story it could be sparked by anything, a character, a scene or even a random phrase that my best friend makes up and it just gets stuck but lately it's been difficult to really get something started.

Here is my dilemma, continue with my other stories without any real enthusiasm or not write anything until I think of something that really grabs my attention and holds on without letting go so I have to write?

I wish I could come up with the answer but it seems instead I've had to send the question out alone and small into the vast world of the internet in the miniscule hope that maybe I'll find that answer. At the very least this blog has allowed me to write down my frustration over my writer's block so it isn't trapped, cluttering up my mind which could probably be doing other things like searching for an amazing story idea.